food my enemy

Well i stared Herbal magic a week ago a life style change is needed and OMG  is it tough.I know i can do this for now but keeping it up is what I'm afraid i may faultier at. Its all about change BIG change like cutting out salt and sugar for example i like a cup of tea in the winter with a table spoon or more of Honey well i was told that's not good for ya can ya cut it out ..Well its already decaffeinated and i only drink one cup a day in the winter. Summer i may have one once in awhile so i was so well ,angry i cant be expected to just stop everything and Not even allow my self a cup of tea i know that the diet plan will work its just hard to go from not eating breakfast to having to eat a fruit and veggie and and protein in the morning, who does this, Really? I mean i could eat a bowl of Cheerios and a banana but i have to eat a veggie too how and protein.. this is going to be a work in progress. My health coach which i see every day right now.She says that this way of eating will get my Metabolism going and keep my body fueled till the next meal So I'm doing the best i can but Protein in the morning and healthy protein who eats that every day and what do you eat? so theres variety Like i was told an egg with some veggies in it scrambled but ya cant eat that everyday so I'm sort of lost on breakfast.But i do feel better just not all that great yet I did cut out pop about a month or more now ago and every ones like oh you must feel great now and lost weight too ,and to be honest i don't feel really any different i just don't have any jitters from the caffeine , but all i here is how bad the stuff is for ya so I'm will try and stay away from it so i start week two tomorrow and its guarantied that if you follow the diet plan correctly i will be 22 pounds lighter by the first week in January but honestly i feel like I'm eating so much during the day that by mined tells me don't eat during the day its too much food, so this will be a up hill battle mind over matter .

Enjoy the flavor of life take big bites

I'm sitting here thinking about this summer and how i said to myself i was going to just have fun no worries, enjoy my friends and family and so far its been SO much fun.
Iv been going non stop Camping,Lilith fair,day trips up to the lake,festivals

In the next month and half I'm going to go to Calgary for a few days with my girl friends sight seeing and lots of laughs,and then more camping, a overnight trip to Seattle and a 3 day trip to the Island with my husband to a Resort with ocean views and long walks on the beach and then going caving,on the Island at Horn lake caves a 3 hour caving excursion with my hubby, So exited about that.
life is really to short we could be gone tomorrow... ,get out there and LIVE have fun ,laugh.
Look as if you are seeing THE BEAUTY OF LIFE EITHER FOR THE FIRST OR LAST TIME, then you can really appreciate every little thing in life . THINK ABOUT IT..

House work can wait, Laundry can wait, Grocery shopping can wait.

Jump in the car and just go see are beautiful country beaches,lakes.Citys,towns.
" BREATH IN LIFE "
Its not all about work and money, Life moves pretty fast if you don't stop and look around once in a while you could MISS IT .

weight loss like walkin the high wire

Well since i came back from Cuba iv had a tough time getting back to exercising ,.eating right etc and iv been paying for it gained two pounds back, and feel like SHIT . So I'm back on track these last couple days went shopping a bought some cloths and looking forward to the summer so sitting her with a glass of water one of many of the day and No fatty snacks at night . Hopefully i don't fall off the weight loss high wire ...wish me luck .

MOM and DAD

Fathers day is here , Mothers day just passed Dad What little memories i have of you race through my mind, So many emotions keep haunting me trying to understand why they wont let me be. Did you really even care about about me.? why where you never there? I miss you so much wish ,i could have had a relashonship with you. I wish i could have asked these questions before you passed. I wonder if you look down on me from heaven i hope you are proud of me.Even through all my good and bad memories I love you.  Mother feeling the sadness fall from my eyes the tears a slow but constant release of pain from the past years of my childhood, Most the time there are no ways to find the words to describe those days.. Holding on to what i hoped to be ,Wanting answers i seem to never get eats me up inside plays like a record skiping over and over in my mined. Its time to face reality that YOU as MOTHER will never come back to me.I want to FORGIVE and FORGET niether are possible for me still. I feel like im the mother and you are the child .Iv made it this far in life im going to make it all the way im, proud of who i am and what iv accoplished in my life. I do believe all iv seen and all i have gone through in my childhood this has made me stronger Iv learned from what i have seen  . Im not damaged goods or a lost soul  JUST. YOUR CHILD Who will always wonder why my parents did what they did i will search for answers i guess till the day you die mom. One day i will learn to forgive but i will never forget. your daughter mom and your Prinncess Dad.

my other world

In sleep life's constraints unbuttoned and unzipped then cast off with the rest of the laundry in the hamper my fluffy pillow a giant sponge to sop up any left over worries spilling out my ears from my mined.
In sleep its my number that wins the lottery.
In sleep i can fly with the birds and travel to far away places go back in time revisit memorable times,
In sleep there are no wrinkles or grey hair and i can go back to being 20 again and money is of no concern.
My dream world is my haven there i can still believe in fairy tales, and guardian angels ,and prince charming and happy endings.

Child at heart

Child like the ability to still, laugh, imagine, hope, and wonder. Life does not have to be so serious. We all have a inner child we all need to let out more often.I still remember what it was like to explore the world when i was a child ,i never wanted to go to sleep. Like a child at heart i still get wildly enthusiastic about the little things,
I'm a exited kid a Christmas
I love summer time vacations and road trips .
I enjoy rolling up my pants feeling the sand between my toes skipping barefoot through the waves. Watching the sunsets ,feeling the rain on my face .
Always remember never to forget to imagine, hope, and wonder. Life is your adventure let the child in you explore.

Call out the hidden child

THOUGHTS RUNNING IN ALL DIRECTIONS

Since i came back from my trip to Cuba i have itchy feet to get up and go again looked into beautiful Rv camp sites on the island and we will be going there in August for sure just have to pick one hopefully with a ocean view also want to maybe go to Kellowna or Pentictin for 5 days so beautiful there , long drive though and if i go on my own cause hubby works it will be kind of scary pulling a 19 foot trailer for hours driving hoping im getting to my destination getting lost would be no fun and well it sounds like a great idea I'm hesitant maybe i will stay around the Fraser valley Hmm i just don't know .I feel like iv lived here all my life and have not even seen all are beautiful country has to offer i wish i could just get up and go . On to another idea swimming in my head looking into a cruise ,we have had a free cruise giving to use with no closing date when we bought our house our real estate agent gave it to use as a gift SO i really want to get that booked its just been sitting here, crazy eh . Also now I'm adding a save a couple hundred a month to my list of things i want and need so me and Jay can take a vacation next year to ,as i said i got the traveling bug .Ok what is this thought or idea number 4 iv lost count way to much on my mined i want to do it all .We also have 1998 VW sitting that we are going to sell another thing just sitting that could be money in our pockets well not really in our pockets it will get spent on something or rather seems like things do come in threes both are vehicle's need new tires and before we can take the trailer out this summer it needs tires to ..Money spending never ends all in all looking forward to the summer i think it will be full of adventure just need to settle on a few ideas and file and sort through the others for another time and date.

Vegies and more vegies

Thank good i love Veggies I'm eating greens reds yellows oranges i had a salad with dinner today with 4 different types of lettuce I'm working hard on taking my vitamins every day. Doc says I'm low in vitamin B so taking that to .I'm going to the gym 3 times a week i know i feel better for it, and i have been doing it so far but i really need to find something i look forward to doing, I'm going to start a yoga class and when i lose more weight and have more flexibility I'm going to join a kick boxing aerobic class, or maybe even a Karate class . If i think to much about my lengthy goal i get overwhelmed so for now i try to take it day by day .I do have treats i had a chocolate bar on Saturday as to not deprive myself of snacks just to treat my self ,no good not letting go once in a while.I do think it would be allot easier for long term change if my husband really cared about his health to he keeps saying he knows he's not in good health but then slams back chips and a chocolate bar. The other night right as i got in bed it was after 12 midnight and in walks jay into the bedroom with a glass of coke and a fudgsicle in his mouth as crawls in bed. I gave him such a dirty look and he new i was pissed. How could he be SO insensitive he knows I'm trying hard to loss weight and get healthy and he did not even care.... I guess i have to work on me, and not think cause I'm ready for change he should be too, i cant help him with change until he wants change i just wish he could respect my wishes and keep that crap away from me especially late at night .

Island dream

Waves lapping on the shore. Peaceful breezes,white sandy beaches. Away from the daily grind and noisy cars where i can lay and let tension slowly drift away. Varadero cuba where i will soon be no more a dream.

change

well i have decided to embrace change i have begone a journey in to eating and exercising regularly. i have serious addiction to Pepsi and coke and have battled with it for almost all my life . In the last two months i have kicked the habbit was driking at least 4 to 5 cans a day now maybe 1 a day if not days with none instead water and REAL fruit juice and its been no problem . so in the last two weeks since i started my journey i have lost 6 pounds i can feel it and i really must say i feel better my mined and body .The truth being i want to be healthy and how i have felt in the last 4 months felt awful since Oct i gained some weight and it makes me sick to say it i have been trying for almost a year and a half to lose weight and was doing it i lost a total of 35 pounds.. and well just feel way off the wagon. I'm tired all the time and and feel sick allot but i remember how good i felt when i was eating better and was thinner iv done it twice i can do it again this time i will stick with it i was going to try eating Raw but i have to be real and realize i need to just try to slowly embrace eating healthier and smaller portions. So i will be writing as i go wish me luck

Thankful

Well today i think God gave me a pinch in my side to wake me up from thinking some time life sucks.One of my girls- friends ran away today a mother and Father were Phoning around frantically to find her. In my girls searches on the phone and Internet they found her and the parents wanted them to accompany them, show them where their daughter was. So off they went and when they came back The mother of the Run away girl wanted to talk to me she seemed lost in her grief and anger about what her child did and i mean child 12 years old ,her child was walking the streets and hanging out with a boy and another girl. When she talked to me she was so thankful for my support in letting the girls help her find her daughter and began to tell me that her childhood was not a good one parents where not really there for her and that she was always getting in trouble and how she is trying to tell her daughter that she wants better for her and that's why there are rules . She told me that her Daughter is on med for Anger issues, Rage . She then said well i just had a baby a little while ago and just found out I'm pregnant again, i said OH is this good news she started to have tears in her eyes as she said no i don't know what I'm going to do I'm really scared. She told me she talked to her daughter about it and said to her I'm going to need your help please try hard to behave.She said to me and this is what she does. So i reasherd her that if her daughter was hanging out with my girls that she would not have to worry .I felt to hug her but, i didn't,i should have. After she left i felt so strange i guess looking at my life i have a good husband and he's got a great job and i have more then i could ask for really .Then i thought of my upbringing and how i thought my auntie was SO stricked and how i envied all my friends that got to do what they wanted to they would have no curfew very few rules no chores, but most of those friends that i had back then are well messed up got pregnant young by more then one guy and well long storey short went no where in life.... ,Because i was taken care of
by my aunt,and watched over by god i have a good life.I cant imagine having a 12 year old a 9 year old boy a 6 year old a new born baby and another one on the way and shes younger then me .So i just wanted to say thanks mom for taking care of me and being tough on me even thought i hated you for it back then,im abetter person for it all and thank god for rescuing me from a dismule childhhod and future that i could have had.. I AM THANKFUL.

Caffeine and Sugar Blues

Well stared off my day with full intentions of getting lots done around the house. Got some laundry done and vacuumed the house ,and made a good dinner, But in between that i watched about 2 hours of tv and Napped through most of it . Why was i so tired ? Kids had the day off today maybe that through me off my routine . I have noticed over the last 2 years that i get very tired during the day and need a nap . I know i need to get to bed earlier and that's one of my worst enemies is that i stay up late cant fall asleep just lay there,it can drive you mad . Also i use to drink 4 to 5 cans of Cola a day and i have stopped that over the last month and a half,I have Maybe 1 can a day now,today i had none, Maybe I'm going through widthdrwls from not having the daily Caffeine and sugar in my body . I think i need to find a natural sugar to replace the cola to keep my energy up . Cause if i don't do something I'm going to sleep my life away or be strung out on Caffeine and sugar ,neither sound good to me.

A Penny saved is a Penny earned

Money where does it go ? I'm writing this because i know we all go threw this at least ones in our lives and i know relating to others going through this does help , Me and Jay have more then enough to give us a happy comfortable life But our spending habits are way out of hand .Nether of us are strong enough to do things right ALL THE TIME,we are both week but on the other hand we both work hard for our pay and want to enjoy life and boy do we. I'm in charge of the finances and you would think that the way i was raised with a mother that taught me to save and and be thrifty that it would make it easy for me to be really good with our money but some where along the last few years I lost that, we both just blow it like is going out of stile .I have a friend that is remarkable with her and her husbands money THEIR money She should be a money canceller.I think they make less then half of what we make and they live a very comfortable life. I Know it would be to hard to do what she does but i know we could do much better then we are . So it's back to the drawing board "Being real" looking at a balance of having fun in life but not being stupid about or spending habits. I want to have money for a rainy day .. CAUSE LIKE MY MOMMA SAID A PENNY SAVED IS A PENNY EARNED

Making a house YOUR home

Well here it goes my first blog... WE have and own our own house but yet it does not feel like a home inside or out yet . I have lived here for over 3 years its a Beautiful open spaced home . When i first moved in it felt like an empty Canvas that we could make our own, but three years in and it does not feel like we have made much of a dent, in all i wanted done and needs doing, Instead of feeling Happiness of ALL we have accomplished like a new roof, brand new bathroom, done from the floors up. and our kitchen i personal did a refurbishing on all my Kitchen cabinets new wood and paint all new hard wear (Jay did install the hard wear) . for some reason i feel overwhelmed . So much left to do i need new counter tops and just found out its going to be very expensive to replace them so once again i feel frustration and i don't think Jay could care less if they get done. I must admit as I'm heading into my older years i have become VERY IMPATIENT i like things done when i want them done, and my JAY HES THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE so we clash i don't stop Nagging and get SO mad i just start doing things around the house with out him. Thinking he should just automatically want to help silly me eh, . Eg:I went and rented a steamer to remove the living room wall paper and bought paint too started the job for some odd reason he thought i wanted to do this BIG JOB on my own.. I dropped hints but never asked directly for his help SO live and learn i guess. So communication is key men don't know what you want if you don't tell them directly. So we talked and are working together this week to make our house a home and i feel so much more relaxed for it,